Recently God once again brought me to reexamine the foundation of my faith. Daily He reveals to me how much more He desires me to know His Son, in whom He had hidden all glory, holiness and blessings.
I started to read a book about some godly people God raised during the last two centuries. I never thought I’d want to read about other people in such a serious way, for I believed, and still do, that the ultimate truth is in His own Word, not in people’s lives.
But how loudly God spoke through His servants! The revelation God has given to His holy servants and the great work He has done in their lives make my heart filled with joy and yet desire more. I have come to realize that if there are a thousand levels of heavens God has hidden in Christ, I have barely seen the first.
I understand what you described. It is just as hurtful for me to realize the pressure acted upon us by others, particularly through the beloved ones. But I started to understand that just as others persecute us (often not purposefully), even more do we ourselves persecute us. It is the fleshly “twin brother” Esau who is in us that persecutes Jacob the spiritual one, as it has always been like that since Cain and Abel.
Self-blaming and self-pity together with self-expectation and self-centeredness…, these are all secretly planned by the enemy to destroy our spiritual life from God.
We’ve got no right to remain on our mat, much less so when we hear the Lord’s command “Rise and walk!” We’ve got no right to gaze upon our own wounds, much less so when we know that only gazing upon the One who is hung on the Cross may heal.
Recently the Lord constantly reminds me to expect nothing from the world, including from myself, but expect everything from Him. May we all feel the Lord’s hand and willingly submit ourselves to Him. He has wonderful things to do in our lives.